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resolutions

Resolutions

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Oh, you guys. You know how I feel about resolutions. You know I believe that waiting until the New Year to make a resolution is entirely unnecessary, and that resolutions often set us up to fail. You know that for me, September is my New Year anyway.

But. 2016 is coming, and I can’t deny that. So. In the year to come?

I resolve to be.

To breathe when it’s easy, and breathe when it feels impossible.

To laugh.

To live in each moment, whatever it may be.

To embrace the love, the bliss, the terror, the sorrow.

To embrace each moment, because each moment is this life.

To know that nothing – not the tide, not the weather, not a feeling, lasts forever.

To remember: this feeling will pass.

To go about my life, whether floating on sparkly white magical light, or plodding through dark black muddy clouds.

To trust the ones who say they want to hear.

To speak my truth when it feels safe and right to do so.

To know that my truth is the truth.

To remember that despite how big a mountain looks, each step counts. One step further from the bottom, closer to the top.

To remember my worth.

To remember that I am deserving.

To float, rather than fight.

To live this next year as I lived the last. With twists and turns and joy and grief and light and darkness.

In this coming year, I resolve to be.

Resolutions

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I wrote what was probably a very similar post to this one a few years ago. But, it’s time-relevant, and very much on my mind.

Now that the holidays are over, the talk switches to the new year. Which I mostly dislike. First of all, as someone who works in the school system and goes September through June, September has always felt like the new year. September is when our students are a grade older, when caseloads and classes switch, when everything is new. January has no importance to me; September is when my year starts.

The concept of The New Year, though, is such a stressful one. The idea of it puts pressure on us. This is a new year, so we must change and be different, and we shouldn’t taint it or mess it up. Everyone talks about resolutions, most of which are unreasonable or unattainable goals, and essentially set us for disappointment and self-loathing. Nobody can keep a resolution perfectly, and I firmly believe that. But we expect perfection, so the first time we deviate from our resolutions, or dabble in our bad habits again, we immediately feel like a failure. And we think, oh well. I tried but failed. Maybe next year.

And that’s not a good feeling. And it’s ineffective. So I do my best to not think that way.

When you think of a resolution, a habit you want to start or break, just start. Every moment, every hour, every day is a chance to make a choice. You don’t have to wait until January. Or April or Tuesday or 6pm. When you’re ready (especially when you’re NOT ready, because most people are not ready to make a change, there is no perfect moment, THIS is the perfect moment), do it.

And? Steps backwards, steps into old waters, and steps down the wrong path do not mean all is lost. If you’ve noticed it, it means you can reroute yourself.

Every moment is fresh and full of possibilities.

Just go!

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I didn’t want to go to yoga today. I got home, my head felt heavy, and I lay (laid? Whatever) down on the couch.

“I’ll skip today. I just can’t do it today.” I tried to tell myself. But, turns out I argue fairly well (ha! If you know me well, this is an understatement). So, I reminded myself,

“Dude. What are you thinking? Yeah, you’re tired. But yoga wakes you up. And your Tuesday yoga class is your favorite. And it has never left you feeling less than ecstatic, proud, strong, energized. So put on a scarf and mittens, and go. ”

So, I did! I can’t even believe I contemplated skipping. I love yoga, I love Tuesday yoga, and I feel so so so good now.

And on that note….
image

FYI, I actually do like lifting. But I literally laughed out loud at this.

A fairly obvious conclusion

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Here is one of those pieces of information that we all KNOW is true, but we kind of intuitively forget it until it happens:

Once you’re in the habit of doing something, it’s easier to do it.

I know, I know. Duh. Obviously. Roll your eyes. Whatever. It’s the kind of thing that we have to really make a part of us, truly live it, until it’s internalized again.

I last posted about my habits/resolutions that I’m aiming to increase. Well, it turns out, when I “clean one thing” one day, I usually clean something else. Or clean one thing the next day. And when I “moved my body” one day, I make myself go for a walk the next day. And when I practice “keeping in touch,” it doesn’t seem so overwhelming — and I look forward to it.

None of this is to say that I do all of my resolutions every day. But that’s okay, that is in no way my goal. Perfection isn’t necessary at all.

It’s just getting easier. That’s all I’m sayin’.

 

On habits and resolutions

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When I read Gretchen Rubin’s book,  The Happiness Project, it was over a year ago and I was entranced. I had so often thought of things I wanted to do (uhh, like, blog) but never did. Maybe because I wasn’t super motivated, but more likely because I didn’t hold myself accountable, and got stuck under, “I’ll do it soon.”

And for a while I kept it in the back of my mind, kept a “think of resolutions” note in my to do lists, but nothing came of it. Then, a few months ago I started listing resolutions that I would have, if I ever did this. I thought of realistic, specific, attainable, important to me ones. I phrased them like Gretchen would. And I thought about them, and that helped.

Then I brought in technology. I found a habit tracker app. Something about that motivation, about getting the reminder pop ups and being asked “did you do this yesterday?” worked.

My current three resolutions are:
1. Clean one thing. (counted as anything other than the dishes and making the bed. I often get overwhelmed with cleaning our apartment, but also get noticeably anxious when the apartment is a mess. And I’ve found that in allowing myself to just clean one thing, I usually actually end up doing more than one.)

  1. Move your body. (which has coincided with me returning to yoga, which I am so glad about. Power yoga with a wonderful teacher is incredible for my body, the amount I sweat is amazing, the strength I’m gaining is wonderful, and the mood change in me is good for my soul. But, this counts as hiking, yoga, gym, a walk. My mind and emotional state is so much calmer when I’ve moved my body. Also, check out the book Spark.)

  2. Keep in touch. (this is the hardest one. I am an introvert by nature, which means that even though I feel perfectly okay with going longer periods of time without checking in with friends, I do, very much realize, that my friends don’t feel the same way — and their extroverted selves aren’t satisfied with that. So, it’s a give-and-take. Plus, I realize that I have gotten very black-and-white about this — like, either I had to go out every night and have long phone conversations each day, or nothing. But I’m giving myself a middle ground. So, Keep in Touch means that I send a text, an email, g-chat, see a friend, make plans, or have a phone conversation with a friend. I give myself permission to not do this every day, but the knowledge that it’s one of my resolutions keeps me doing it more than I might otherwise. And it’s meeting loved ones halfway. Which they deserve, and so do I.)

And…it’s going well so far. And I don’t feel internal pressure to do it like Gretchen did, where I change my resolutions each month or devote my entire month to them. Just having them in the back of my mind keeps me cognizant that they’re there — and let’s be honest, meeting them feels really, really good. Because ultimately, they’re all about self-care, and that’s the whole point, right?