Today was so beautiful that every time I looked at the bright green leaves sparkling against the beaming blue sky, I wanted to burst into tears from the intensity swirling around inside of me.
Which made me think — is that how my students with autism feel, all day long? Sensory experiences magnified times 100 — and in times like this, more pleasurable than most people know. But conversely, in other times, worse than anyone could imagine.
I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I also definitely have some sensory processing disorder components. That’s always made sense to me; if you feel physical senses very strongly, of course you’ll feel emotional ones strongly also. And, HSP “criteria” include both physical and emotional sensitivities. And, it’s incredibly common for individuals with sensory sensitivities/sensory processing disorder to be sensitive, seem emotionally disregulated, etc. So the first point is, it makes sense to me that it’s all intertwined.
And why am I bringing it up? Mainly because it’s a big part of my life. The fact that I’m so sensitive, that I feel things so strongly, affects each aspect of my daily life. Not always in a bad way, and I want to make that clear. Being so sensitive is a blessing and a curse, but overall, I wouldn’t trade it. I also have always been on a quest to educate others. Not just to promote acceptance, though of course that’s important, but it’s awareness that’s key. It took me years to find out key things about myself, mainly because I just didn’t even know those things existed, didn’t know what they were. Maybe if people knew more, they could save themselves years of hardships by obtaining that knowledge sooner. So if writing about these things helps even one person? Totally worth it.
I’ve talked about these things here and there with a few others, mainly those who Get It. But I’m not really sure how to just start explaining it, to explain the complex workings of my body and my mind. Where do I begin?